ARQUIUSPRITE: Didn't I mention, master dogg
ARQUIUSPRITE: Our mutual bro is here
ARQUIUSPRITE: That is, right here
ARQUIUSPRITE: With me
ARQUIUSPRITE: We are kind of in the process of chilling together at the moment
DIRK: No, you didn't mention that actually.
DIRK: That would have been a pretty fucking important thing to mention up front, don't you think?
DIRK: As opposed to stringing me along with all that atrocious lactation bullshit.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes
ARQUIUSPRITE: I guess I did kind of bury the lede there
ARQUIUSPRITE: Maybe I just wanted to talk
ARQUIUSPRITE: We never talk, Dirk
DIRK: You are without a doubt the shittiest mystical guide anyone has ever had.
ARQUIUSPRITE: I am not sure about that
ARQUIUSPRITE: Dave says he had a similarly ty guide once
ARQUIUSPRITE: Do you remember our puppet, Dirk?
DIRK: Cal?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes
DIRK: What kind of stupid question is that. How could I forget the C man?
DIRK: He was a true friend. Which is more than I can say for some people.
ARQUIUSPRITE: A good friend in the plush, yes, but as a sprite he was apparently insufferable
ARQUIUSPRITE: See, you don't realize how lucky you are to have a guide like me
DIRK: Cal was his sprite??
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes, for a while
ARQUIUSPRITE: Then Dave went back in time and became one himself
ARQUIUSPRITE: Now he is part bird
ARQUIUSPRITE: Did I mention he's part bird?
DIRK: Uh, no?
DIRK: Again, that's the exact kind of information that should be appearing higher up in our conversations.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Of course, this means he is not the Real Dave
ARQUIUSPRITE: Davesprite served as Real Dave's sprite
ARQUIUSPRITE: But he is only the unreal version of Dave insofar as I am the unreal version of you
ARQUIUSPRITE: By which I mean, a much improved version
DIRK:
ARQUIUSPRITE: I must say, while the troll part of me doesn't give a silly figging shoot about any of this, the part of me that splintered from you has found the brotherly reunion to be everything which you and I dared not imagine, and more
ARQUIUSPRITE: Bird Dave and I are getting along famously and STRENGTHENING our familial bonds like a sweet pair of mother
ARQUIUSPRITE: I feel our kinship goes beyond geneti% though
ARQUIUSPRITE: We are misfits, estranged, he from Dave's alpha timeline, I from Dirk's alpha soul
ARQUIUSPRITE: A two man menagerie of sideshow frickups, together at last
ARQUIUSPRITE: Fle%ing and flapping
ARQUIUSPRITE: Fraternally and eternally
DIRK: I don't get it.
DIRK: Are you trying to rub this in my face or something?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Neigh, braj
ARQUIUSPRITE: As your buff mystical guide slash personal trainer I am suggesting that if you were willing to contact me as a matter of last resnort, you might want to at least consider reaching out to him as well
DIRK: It sounds like you've already cornered the market on this reunion shit.
DIRK: Wouldn't I just be a third wheel?
ARQUIUSPRITE: I didn't mean Bird Dave
ARQUIUSPRITE: I meant Real Dave
DIRK: Oh.
DIRK: He's there too?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Not with us
ARQUIUSPRITE: He is here though, somewhere
ARQUIUSPRITE: You should message him
DIRK: ...
ARQUIUSPRITE: It's not like you don't have a few hours to kill
ARQUIUSPRITE: What else are you going to do out there
ARQUIUSPRITE: Pick at your pantaloon wedgies?
DIRK: I dunno.
DIRK: Messaging him out of nowhere sounds like it could be...
DIRK: Awkward?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes, I canter magine it won't be
ARQUIUSPRITE: At least at first
DIRK: This isn't how I thought it would go.
DIRK: What would I even talk about?
ARQUIUSPRITE: I advise you to talk about your interests
ARQUIUSPRITE: Like dairy
ARQUIUSPRITE: Livestock
ARQUIUSPRITE: Fine art
ARQUIUSPRITE: And muscles
DIRK: Those are your interests.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Good point
ARQUIUSPRITE: I advise you to talk about my interests