ARQUIUSPRITE: But why, lord bro
ARQUIUSPRITE: I was just about to pony up the boob fa%
ARQUIUSPRITE: There is a 100% probability that you would have been thrilled to hear my e%egesis on troll knockers
DIRK: It might have been an interesting subject to talk about another time, with a different person.
DIRK: But that's not now, and it sure isn't with you.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Dude, that is ice cold
ARQUIUSPRITE: I would be hurt, if I were not a flawless machine fused with haughty nobility
ARQUIUSPRITE: If you don't wish to hear my epic monodialogue on alien bazongas
ARQUIUSPRITE: I'm not sure what else I can do to entertain you
ARQUIUSPRITE: You are seriously hoofcuffing my material here
ARQUIUSPRITE: Pretty demanding, if you ask me
ARQUIUSPRITE: But as your mystical guide, I suppose it is my duty to manufacture small talk, if that's what you really want
ARQUIUSPRITE: What about fine art? We could talk about that
ARQUIUSPRITE: Dirk, did you know the sweaty troll guy who I used to be, and still kind of am, used to adore fine art?
ARQUIUSPRITE: He was just like you and me, in that sense
ARQUIUSPRITE: It seems I have a lot in common with myself
ARQUIUSPRITE: If you can ever manage to get over yourself, I would highly recommend being me
ARQUIUSPRITE: Or at least something like me
ARQUIUSPRITE: Maybe somewhere, there is a dead troll out there, just waiting for you to merge with him
DIRK: I wasn't asking you to make small talk, or to hear about all the ways you've managed to shit around wasting time.
DIRK: Believe it or not, I was hoping you would describe the tactical situation there.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Sounds boring
ARQUIUSPRITE: Are you sure you don't want to talk about paintings of big naked horse monsters and such?
DIRK: Yes, you got me.
DIRK: I would love to have a long talk about horse nudes and xenobreasts with you.
DIRK: Unfortunately I'm wearing pantaloons and flying through the middle of goddamn nowhere.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Pantaloons you say
DIRK: Pant a fucking loons.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Sir, are you implying that you are not dressed appropriately for a discussion of high culture
ARQUIUSPRITE: Because it seems to me that you could not be dressed more appropriately if you tried
DIRK: I respectfully disagree.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Where are you?
DIRK: I don't know. Way out in space.
DIRK: I'm flying back there now.
ARQUIUSPRITE: How long do you suppose it will take you to get back?
DIRK: I'm not sure.
DIRK: A pretty good while.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Never mind. I have triangulated your location and velocity using long range sensor technology, and probably also some sprite magic
DIRK: You did?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Hey Dirk
ARQUIUSPRITE: Remember how whenever I dubiously claimed to have triangulated something, it was always this great play on words?
DIRK: Not really.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Because I was just a pair of triangles
ARQUIUSPRITE: But not anymore
DIRK: I know.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Because I have this rockin' new torso
DIRK: Cool.
DIRK: How long do your calculations say it will take me to get back?
ARQUIUSPRITE: E%actly a little more than three hours
DIRK: Damn it.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Additional sweeps from my STRONGLASERS are telling me there are a few other people on the periphery of the session closing in at a similar rate
DIRK: Who?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Just some dudes
ARQUIUSPRITE: What are you doing all the way out there and wearing pantaloons, by the way
DIRK: Let's not talk about the pantaloons anymore.
DIRK: Roxy and I became god tiers, but I don't remember exactly how.
DIRK: Then I saw the Batterwitch.
DIRK: So I charged her with my sword, so as to ruin her shit.
DIRK: That's when some crazy wolf girl appeared and punched me in the face.
DIRK: Then I think she teleported me out here.
ARQUIUSPRITE: That was evil Jade
DIRK: Evil Jade??
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes
DIRK: You mean Jake's grandmother.
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes
DIRK: She's evil too?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes
DIRK: Is anyone there NOT evil?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes
DIRK: Yes what?
ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes anyone here is not evil
ARQUIUSPRITE: That is to say, there e%ist people here who are not evil
ARQUIUSPRITE: Such as Dave
ARQUIUSPRITE: Dave is not evil, to my knowledge
DIRK: Dave???